We ask visitors to the house, or while they are in the company of our
children, to respect our wishes and the following "rules of conduct":
Don't talk about Kessia as if she wasn't present. Don't talk about or
ask us questions about how she is, or how we are coping, while Kessia *or*
Joshua are in the room.
Don't talk negatively over or around Joshua. He understands and hears a
lot, even if you don't think he can.
Please be thoughtful about Joshua. If you bring a present for Kessia,
please bring something special for Joshua too. A few suggestions: his own
helium balloons, flowers, books, toys, art and craft materials.
Please don't say things to Joshua like "I'm sure you're helping look
after Kessia" or "Are you helping your mum and dad look after Kessia?"
Although Josh loves to help, we don't want him in any way to feel like he
has a responsibility for Kessia's wellbeing. If Kessia doesn't get better,
we don't want Josh to feel like it's his fault in any way, or that he
didn't help take care of her enough. We've explained to him that his job
is to be a fun, caring, gentle and loving brother, and that it's our job to
look after the two of them.
Also, please be mindful of what you discuss in front of your own
children. The last thing we want is for someone to blurt out to Kessia
that they heard she was dying.
Please act normally. We are a happy household and Kessia loves jokes,
but we don't want people to be falsely cheerful. Also, please don't try
and make light of Kessia's condition by joking about it to her.
Don't promise Kessia or Joshua anything that you cannot keep.
Be truthful and honest to the best of your abilities. If they ask you
a confronting question, say something like: "I'm not sure about that, but
it's a really important question. I'm sure your mum and dad would love the
chance to talk to you about it. Why don't we ask them together?"
Kessia does not know about her website yet, so please don't mention it
to her.
Similarly, please be conscious of what you say when leaving answering
machine messages. We don't want her to overhear anything we haven't
prepared her for.
Bring Geoff a skinny cappuccino whenever you are able.
